It’s been over a year since I read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy and I can still appreciate what it has done for life between the sheets for my husband and me. I don’t think E.L. James truly knew what she was doing for women everywhere, especially us mommies, when she wrote these novels. There are disputes about her quality of writing and the redundancy of sex scenes, but for me this fantasy couple opened the doors to new experiences in the bedroom even when life gets complicated with kids.
Sex will always be a hot topic for men and women, but sex after baby/kids seems to be a life lesson. In order to succeed there must be this constant balance of timing, sleep, desire/interest, communication, and tending to those little distractions we call children. When both parties don’t make the effort to make sure these issues align, then sex takes its place on the back burner.
Here is the progression of Shades of Sex after Baby….
Please don’t touch me shade
Although we love the idea that our husbands still want us after our baby is born, the idea of boob grabbing, ass slapping, or handling our sex is so far off our radar we can’t ever imagine getting back in the groove.
The first time shade
I am talking about the first time you get back in the game after you pushed that 6 lb 12 oz or greater baby out of your womb. This anxiety filled session is clouded with pain, raging hormones, and a suffocating desire to be with your new little love.
The baby is crying shade
This is usually a deal breaker for the mommies but what amazes me is the fact that the men can keep it going. I guess I can understand a little, because it is not “daddy” the bambino is screaming it’s “mommy!!!”
I’m tired shade
Tired cannot begin to describe how new moms feel. We are exhausted, drained, worn out; and we would rather catch up on sleep than do the deed.
I can’t turn off my mind shade
Bills to pay, grocery lists to make, babysitters to find, meals to plan, people to please. Is my baby growing and developing like he/she should? Did I yell too much? How could I do that differently next time? To put it plainly, sometimes we just can’t shut-off our minds.
First date night shade
You reconnect. You talk a little about breaking news, a little about work, and a lot about the kids. You didn’t have to do the normal routine to put the kids to bed. You are dressed and you smell good. You even had time to shave. You can finally go back to the pre-kid “play date” even if it is only for a night.
We got this shade
Your kids are on a schedule, the house is in order or at least now you don’t mind if the sink is full of dishes … and if hubby finished something from his “honey do” list you throw him a bone. You make the time and the effort because you got this family thing down.
You just read a good book shade
You read this really great series and you decide to bring some of the ideas to the bedroom to spruce things up. Hubby has no complaints and it all works out.
The first adults only vacation shade
This is no holds bar. You are finally alone for days with the man you married, the man you love and adore. You can do it like rabbits with no worries and NO interruptions. It is a mind blowing euphoric experience, one only to be had without children present.
Having kids is an absolute pleasure but let’s face it, it can put a wrench in your sex life. For some the process takes longer than others. And even for those couples who get back in the game early, there are bound to be dry spells every once in a while. Communicating, having date nights, and checking in with one another helps bring things a little closer to your pre-baby relationship. But if this still doesn’t seem to work, then read a good book! I have a recommendation for you.